Walking with Monsters - Draw The Line

 Continuation....

So you've assessed the situation. You need to fight. Draw that line in the sand. Stem the tide. Prevent a worse case scenario from playing out.

You go to battle. Armour is polished, swords are sharpened. A strategy has been developed and tactics implemented. The first shot is fired.  

The fog of war descends. Warrior mode. 

Warrior mode isn't that pleasant to be honest. It is not my natural style, not my cup of tea. I'll go there though if I have to. I prefer to be co operative, again, tit for tat with forgiveness. 

I do have the capacity though to go beast mode. I am smart, humble, strong, healthy, take good advice.

Stress is elevated during this period. The action isn't so bad, its the before and after. The rest period between the next engagement. It really is an intense mental activity. The brain already is a loose monkey with thoughts - add powerful emotions and a dose of battle fear and it can get out of hand rapidly. 

Scenarios run through the mind constantly. What if I lose? What is the downside? What is my next move?

I just took a small break, and another scenario germinated in the grey matter. If x plays out, then I demand this. I can feel the anger coursing through my veins. The adrenaline being released. 

What to do? Well I did just meditate on a park bench. Meditation and mindfulness is good. A reminder of what is really important in life, the priorities, also helps. What am I actually afraid of/What is the worst case scenario? It isn't actually that bad, and like the afghan farmer, might actually turn out positive. There is no downside.

Then the aim of the game is just taking the mind off things. To be honest this can all be a bit of fun too (it is almost though I don't want to mention that else it takes the sting out of my tail).

I'm going to give myself a break. I'm not going to deal with this particular issue until next week. Won't even think about it. Will discuss with Dario on Monday night. I'm just going to refresh and recoup for tomorrow and the weekend 

Don't want to be doing this all the time. Avoid it becoming a habit. But a little bit of stress testing is ok (within reason). Makes the system more antifragile.

Hopefully these thoughts are of use to someone. Writing them down has been useful for me.

Westy