The End of Volunteering In The Workplace

 Oh no! Not this again...

"Hi

We are now launching strategic initiative *fuzzy wuzzy bear hug hug* and are seeking nominations from interested staff who would like to volunteer to be part of this fantastic opportunity. 

Bla bla bla

Sincerely,

Clueless"

*Fuzzy wuzzy initiatives = cultural growth, sustainability ideas, innovation hub. Basically bullsh1t wastes of time.

Urghhhhhhh

The time spent 'volunteering'  of course comes out of the salaried time, so it isn't volunteering (in the true sense) at all. Really it is an excuse for staff to do even less work than they usually do.

"Neil, what is the reason you are again late with those end of month reports?"

"Well I've spent the last four hours in a brainstorming session on how the business can be seen as more eco friendly to upside down migrating whales."

"Is that important?"

"Are you questioning the value of strategic cultural building in the organisation?"

How about this instead.

This idea.

This one.

Give everyone in the business mindfulness/meditation training. Then everyone gets half an hour each morning for a month. They sit and meditate. They become aware of their thoughts, not just be their thoughts. They work through their mental inbox.

(Of course by they I mean roughly 20% of the organisation, the other 80% will just take the piss, but that doesn't matter so much because that 80% aren't doing anything productive in the first place.)

At the end of the month (they're another month older...#lesmis) perhaps people will have worked out some of their 'stuff' and be better able to cope with their emotions. They may reduce or eliminate alcohol. Stop smashing their livers and pancreas. Insulin resistance might drop due to a change to a healthier diet. General mood around the office may lift.  At least temporarily.

culture will improve anyway with people not being so mood swingy due to caffeine, alcohol, sugar dependence. Performance will improve (look at pro sports - they figured this out ages ago). Heck even ideas might improve. And nobody has to pretend they are volunteering.

Wonderful.

Westy